čtvrtek 19. prosince 2019

Všechny ty změny

Vánoce. Za pět dnů. Od října se mě všichni, od náhodných lidí ve vlaku až po známé ptají, jestli už mám dárky. Od října všichni šílejí, od října se všichni připravují. Musím vám něco říct. Na letošní Vánoce se připravuji téměř celý uplynulý rok. Tedy, především v hlavě. 

Rozhodla jsem se najít spouštěče svých stresů a dostala jsem se...no jasně! K nejhezčím svátkům. Pohoda, klid a mír. A taky dohady, kde, kdo, kdy...A především dárky. Dárky jsou velké téma nejen pro mě, ale i pro většinu mých kamarádek. Především ale pro ty, které mají děti. Malé děti. Mít malé děti totiž často člověka předurčuje k tomu, dostávat bez předchozí domluvy domů mluvící křečky, sadu autíček č.257341, plastové figurky a mohla bych pokračovat přes autodráhy, kterých je doma už deset, ale ta jedenáctá je jiná, až po kočárky a jiná vozítka. Ano. Jsme zase u toho, že hodně věcí nikoho šťastným neudělá. Moje děti dostaly opravdu spousty hezkých i ne tak úplně hezkých dárků a...nejraději si staví z dřevěných polínek. Než začnete mít pocit, že jsem se stala úplnou biomatkou...mají na výběr, mají plný pokoj hraček a jsou tam věci, na které ani jeden nesáhl už víc, než dva roky. Občas ani netuší, jaké věci v té krabici mají. 

Minulé Vánoce už proběhl jeden zásadní a důležitý krok. Poprvé jsem se, místo opravdového naštvání z hromady dárků, rozhodla otočit tohle celé v něco lepšího. V dobrý skutek. Kluci část svých hraček věnovali dál. Holčičce, která neměla tolik štěstí v životě a ten start jí rodiče celkem ztížili. Holčičce, která mnohem více ocení hračky a bude z nich mít upřímnou radost. Nebude to jen věc číslo tisíc, v dětském pokoji. Celé to poselství Vánoc mi najednou přišlo mnohem smysluplnější a měla jsem radost, že tohle můžeme udělat. Kromě toho bych si vážně přála, aby se kluci naučili dělit nejen mezi sebou, ale myslet na ostatní. Dělat hezké a správné věci. Doufám a věřím, že význam to má. 

Letos? Letos jsem přestala některé věci řešit úplně. Není důležité kde se uvidíme, ale že se uvidíme. Nic víc není. A jestli bude víc dárků, než bych si pro kluky přála? Už přeci vím, že i tohle jde řešit. Opravdu moc se mi ulevilo. Je to zvláštní. Snažila jsem se několikrát, skoro se dá říct, že silou, tohle všechno v sobě nějak zvládnout. Být nad věcí, být v klidu, ale vždycky bez úspěchu. A pak to najednou přijde "samo". Buď jsem teda našla tu správnou cestu, nebo jsem -vdechla- The little book of calm, ještě si nejsem tak úplně jistá. 

Nakonec to bude asi ta vdechnutá knížka, protože...V úterý jsem měla mít rande s Atomem, ale nebylo nám to tak úplně souzeno. Okolnosti bytí jsou někdy...pojďme si říct, že ne vždycky všechno musí nutně vyjít tak, jak si představujeme. A stejně z toho může nakonec být super večírek se skvělou hudbou, kamarády a dobrým skutkem k tomu všemu. To se na Vánoce přeci má dít. Díky za pozvání Járovi i když Atom nakonec nechtěl, nemohl "omlouvám se, ale to fakt nedám" přijít. Já jsem si, po týdnech izolace, užila všechno dosyta a teď už budu krájet pomeranče, jablka a užívat si času s rodinou. Fakt díky, díky, díky! Bylo to krásný!

41 komentářů:

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  2. Jani, ty sis ten koncert zasloužila. Díky za dobré skutky. Když je dělá alespoň někdo, je to mnohem nadějnější.

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Děkuji za milé komentáře;-)